Well, today was a long day. I really don't want to go back to school tomorrow. Ugh. Oh well... Anyway, things are really frustrating, and I don't know if I know how to deal with them, but somehow I'm going to. When it's all over, I'll look back at it and laugh at how stupid I can be at times. I feel like The Cure describes every single feeling I'm feeling at times. For every feeling, there's a song. I don't know what it is about The Cure, but their music puts me in a trance and in a dreamland I can't seem to get out of. Nor do I want to get out of it... There's so much about myself that I'm learning of each day. I don't know how to describe it, but I grow every single day in some way or another. Every experience I have seems to do something good for me, whether I realize it immediately or not. I don't know how soon this will happen, but one of my main goals right now, is to work my way up to the lifestyle that I want to be living. I know this may sound cheesy, but I really want to be living a celestial lifestyle. If anything happens unexpectedly to me, I want to be ready to be with my Mom. I need to work my way up to living that lifestyle. Jessica told Jane something today about thinking about what you want, and then going for it with a positive attitude, not a negative one. I really do need to work on that, and I know it will help a lot. I'm so extremely confused... I don't know how to help people trust me. I feel so helpless... I try so hard to explain everything I'm feeling, but it's thrown out the window like nothing matters anymore.. I don't know... everything is so messed up... I need to go to sleep..